How to be the best person you can be

You’re lucky enough to be different, never change. Taylor Swift

Every day our aim should be to be the best person we possibly can be, whether someone is looking at us and watching what we are doing or not. We should always act in line with our values and morals and strive to be the person we want to be. This is not only a key to happiness but if you’re currently suffering from depression, this is the key to moving you beyond your current state.

The first step is figuring out what you can do to be the best person that you can be. This week, Happiness Weekly gives you some ideas for where to begin.

Write down your values
Ask yourself what really matters to you – not just in yourself, but also consider the qualities you value in other people. Sometimes it’s easy for us to look at people and see what we don’t like, but spend another second and consider the features you do like. Write a list of the things you value – whenever you feel as though life isn’t heading in the direction you want it to, refer back to these – they will keep you grounded and remind you of who you are and who you want to be.

Figure out who you want to be
Which leads us to the next point! You need to take some time to figure out who you want to be. Consider all your close friends and all the things you really admire in each of them. You can even look at celebrities you want – even physical features – what hairstyle you like, fake tan or no tan, how you like your makeup done etc. Pick all the best qualities and features from the people you have selected to act as role models – physical and psychological features – and form a list of things you need to do to become the best you that you can be. Then start setting some goals to help you become the person you want to be.

Diet
It’s no surprise that what you put into your body helps with the way you feel about yourself, and also how you feel about others. If you eat fresh foods and plenty of fruit and vegetables you will feel better about everything, therefore contributing to you becoming the best person you can be. Simple!

Exercise
If you sit at home like a couch potato all day, I can guarantee – you will feel that way. But if you look forward to the sunshine and take yourself out for some exercise each day – even if it’s just a walk, I can promise you will feel a lot better about yourself. No one compliments the person who sits on the couch, the best figure is earned. To get energy that shines from your soul, try to do 40 minutes to an hour of exercise a day.

Do what you like to do
Everyone has at least one thing they enjoy doing. Whether it’s taking part in a hobby, going out with friends or family, or having a full on pamper day. Whatever it is – do it! Treat yourself. If you can’t afford it, set goals so you can. Particularly if you are suffering from depression or anxiety, it’s ideal to complete an activity you enjoy a couple of times a week. Not sure what you enjoy? Don’t enjoy much because you feel so low? Push yourself! No one will take any pain that you’re suffering away from you – not even the person who caused it. If you push yourself to do the activities you usually enjoy, before you know it – you’ll be back on the path to being your old, vibrant self again.

Act with integrity
The key to being the best person you possibly can be is acting with integrity. Do what you say you will do. Keep promises. Turn up on time. Be accountable. Take responsibility. Do the right thing all the time. Metaphorically speaking: don’t do things behind closed doors that you wouldn’t do while those doors are open. The truth always comes out in the wash. It’s when we don’t do the right thing that our conscience interferes with our moods and actions and we can actually never be happy in that state. So if we do the right thing all the time – by ourselves and those around us – we will feel a lot happier, than if we’re sneaking around.

Get the job you want
Being employed is really important, even if you’re suffering from depression and finding it impossible to get out of bed. Losing your job would just add to the pain. The trick is to find a job that works for you – no puns intended. Work the hours that you want to work and get the income that you want to earn. Your dream job is out there – the trick is finding it. If you aren’t feeling on deck, I strongly advise avoiding the interviewing process until you are. An added rejection will not make you feel any better – but you could use this as incentive to get back on track faster!

Reassess your friends
Look at the people in your life that you have surrounded yourself with. Reassess if you really need them there or not. Consider how they make you feel about yourself. Remember in order to be the best, you need to be surrounded by the best. Get rid of anyone from your life who is holding you back or trying to drag you down. Remember, if they’re dragging you down, they’re beneath you already so moving forward from that relationship would be doing yourself a favour!

Don’t give up
Everyone has good days and bad days. You’re not always going to be the person you want to be. Sometimes you will do something that’s not like you at all – you’ll probably feel guilty and horrible rather than validated and good. Forgive yourself openly and get back on track as soon as you can. And remember, sometimes what we wish for isn’t what we need. Sometimes we need to carefully re-evaluate the things we want in order to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Set goals
Every achievement makes us feel a little better, more validated and more powerful within ourselves. Set realistic goals to lead you to becoming the best person you can be. Don’t tie the goals to someone else, ensure they’re all about you. Remember to be patient with yourself and that every sunrise leads you further from the storm.

As a general rule: if it makes you feel bad, don’t do it. Being the best person you can possibly be will only ever make you feel good! Best of luck in your journey to becoming the best person you can be.

Practical ways to live longer (Part I)

I intend to live forever, or die trying. Groucho Marx

On Monday, 7 April 2013 we celebrated the 65^th World Health Day and in celebration of that event, we have decided to write a blog about what you can do to live a longer life. Each year WHO selects a theme for World Health Day that highlights a priority area for public health concern in the world – this year it was about High Blood Pressure. For more information about World Health Day, please click here.

It seems obvious: don’t smoke, don’t drink excessively, get regular health checks, get regular dental checks, eat fruit and vegetables and exercise often… but there’s more you can do to living longer than you think! So much so that Happiness Weekly has broken this blog into two parts, with the second part to be released later in the year.

The fact is, on average, women live to 79.9 years of age and men live to 75 years of age. Despite the rise of incurable diseases such as the current diabetes epidemic, life expectancies are also on the rise. Scientists believe that only 30% of ageing is due our genes which means 70% is due to our habits! This week Happiness Weekly looks at what you can do to expand your lifetime.

Have regular health checks
Get to know how your breasts normally look and feel and report any changes to your GP such as a lump, dimple, unusual pain or discharge. The best time to do a check is a week after your period and remember – nine out of ten lumps are benign and many breast cancers are curable if caught early enough. Also remember that pap smears are important. According to the Institute of Public Health, Cervical screenings prevent 2,500 deaths each year in the UK.

Watch your diet
Eat fresh foods, shop regularly at local markets and rely less on convenience food. Overeating causes ageing and increases the risk of heart disease and cancers of the colon, womb, gall bladder, ovaries and breast. Coronary heart disease causes 270,000 heart attacks each year, of these 28,000 are linked to obesity. Take control! Did you know 40% of cancers are diet-related? Eat at least five portions of fruit and vegetables every day to reduce your risk of the following cancers: lung, digestive tract, bowel, bladder and breast. If you experience any dramatic change in your bowel habits – such as constipation, increased looseness or passing blood – you should see your doctor.

Eat less
Cutting your daily calorie intake to 1,400-2,000 each day can help you stay young at heart. It’s about getting the most nutrition out of each calorie you consume. Research shows rats, mice, flies and monkeys live up to twice as long when their food intake is reduced by a third – possibly because eating less means the metabolism has less work and therefore slows down.

Consume the following:
– Drink milk! The vitamin D contained in milk makes it an effective anti-inflammatory and reduces osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.
– Eat onion. One 80g onion per person (in bolognese, say) is a sneaky way to add to your five portions of fruit and vegetables. Onions lower the risk of colorectal cancer, laryngeal cancer and ovarian cancer. They are rich in quercetin (an antioxidant that prevents harmful enzymes from triggering inflammation and containing sulphur compounds that boost the immune system.
– Eat fruit that’s room temperature. Bright coloured fruits such as tomatoes, watermelon and red/pink grapefruit stored at room temperature contain double the beta carotene as chilled fruit – which the body then metabolises into vitamin A. Room temperature fruits also contain 20 times more lycopene because the warmth enables them to keep ripening. Full ripe melons kept at room temperature overnight (and uncut) increase their levels of carotenoids (disease-fighting substances) from 11% to 40%.
– Eat red foods. Red capsicum (or a red pepper) contains more vitamin C than an orange; beetroot contains nitrates that relax the blood vessels; tomatoes contain a powerful antioxidant called lycopene that may protect against cancer and heart disease (particularly when cooked); and red grapes contain resveratrol thought to include anti-inflammatory, cancer-preventing, cholesterol-lowering properties.
– Eat chocolate. Research shows that people who eat a moderate amount of chocolate live longer than those who eat sweets three or more times a week and those who never touch sweets. Chocolate contains chemicals such as phenols which protect against heart disease and cancer.
– Eat bananas – they reduce your blood pressure, risk of strokes and heart disease because they are rich in potassium. Fruit juice and dried fruit are also recommended for this reason. Potassium counteracts the damaging effects of excess salts in the diet. One banana contains 4.7g potassium which is enough to lower blood pressure.

Sleep less
Sleeping more than eight hours a day may reduce your life expectancy. People who only get six to seven hours sleep a night live longer. You may also want to go to bed an hour earlier than usual – this can lower your blood pressure in just six weeks and subsequently reduce your risk of heart attacks and strokes.

Start exercising
Women who are physically fit have a 40% less chance of developing coronary heart disease than those who don’t exercise regularly. Up to a third of older hip-fracture patients die within a year because of complications from the trauma. Performing daily squats and lunges is one of the best ways to maintain lower-body strength.

Move to the country
People living in rural areas have a higher life expectancy than those living in cities.

Love your family
A Harvard Medical School study found that 91% of people who said they aren’t close to their mothers develop serious disease by midlife such as high blood pressure, alcoholism and heart disease. Women who have children have a greater life expectancy, however this could be because of the increased contact with and support from their children and grandchildren as they get older.

Get a pet
Families who own a dog or cat are less stressed and visit their doctors less often than those who don’t. Pets encourage us to have a positive outlook and make us feel relaxed which lowers blood pressure. While dogs give best results, a goldfish in a bowl also works.

Improve your positive thinking
People who are optimistic are more open to taking health advice and live about 12 years longer than pessimists who are more prone to viral illnesses such as colds and flu.

Quit smoking
Damage caused by smoking is cumulative, the longer you smoke – the greater the risk of developing a smoking-related disease such as lung cancer, heart disease and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Each year up to 120,000 deaths are linked to smoking.

Take exams
The more qualifications you have, the higher your life expectancy. Less educated people are more likely to smoke and work in high-risk jobs.

Have fun
US cardiologist, Dr William Fry, says laughing 100-200 times is the equivalent of a ten minute jog. It also lowers stress and increases the body’s natural defensive killer cells and antibodies.

Get spiritual
Attending church increases life expectancy because it helps people’s stress and emotional problems and protects against heart disease, and respiratory or digestive problems.

Enjoy a work/life balance
Stressed people are 20 times more likely to develop heart disease. Prolonged tension also depletes the immune system and robs the body of its antioxidant store which helps prevent premature ageing. Meanwhile, meditation or yoga are proven to alleviate stress, reduce blood pressure and stress-related conditions such as depression.

Do what you want
As you get older, playing games or shopping can be just as good for you as physical exercise. In fact, women who shop daily have 23% less risk of death than infrequent shoppers, and men 28%. The key to good health is doing what you enjoy and feeling good about yourself. Gardening is another great thing to do as it combines cardiovascular exercise with flexibility, endurance and muscle strength — and an hour’s steady gardening is equivalent to a five-mile walk.

Drink tea
Green tea and ordinary black tea have the same amount of antioxidents and equal benefits. Research shows that drinking one cup of black tea a day significantly reduces the risk of heart disease. Drinking tea also boosts the survival rate following a heart attack by 28%.

Be sociable
Outgoing people who enjoy socialising are 50% less likely to develop dementia. Learning to use social media can also help keep brain cells young and healthy. Watch out for having overweight friends – studies show that a fat best friend means you have 171% greater chance of also becoming fat. A great incentive to encourage your bigger friends to workout with you!

Get creative
People who describe themselves as creative have a significantly reduced mortality rate because it enlarges the neural networks in the brain.

Floss daily
Bacteria that cause tooth decay trigger inflammation which can be a significant precursor to heart disease. It may also protect against diabetes and dementia. Flossing each evening can make a difference to how fast you age – taking as much as 6.4 years off your age.

Be conscientious
People that are conscientious have more serotonin (a brain chemical that brings a feeling of satisfaction), which affects how much they eat and how well they sleep. These people are also naturally drawn to healthier situations and relationships.

Enjoy an active sex life
Couples with a healthy sex life look up to seven years younger than those who don’t because sex reduces stress and leads to greater contentment and better sleep. Sex at least three times a week can add two years to your life through the increase of heart rate and blood flow. If you have sex three times a week, you can increase your life expectancy by two years or if you have sex every day, your life expectancy could increase by eight years! In addition to boosting circulation and reducing stress, stress releases a building block of testosterone which helps repair and heal tissue. It’s also a natural anti-depressant – especially for women.

How to have a great day … every day!

I hope everyone that is reading this is having a really good day. And if you are not, just know that in every new minute that passes you have an opportunity to change that. Gillian Anderson

Every day has potential to be the best day of your life. Make the decision that today will be a great day and spend your time working to achieve it. The following tips will make it easy for you to live each day to the fullest.

Select your alarm tune carefully
Setting your alarm tune to something peaceful or happy is always a great way to start the day! My alarm tune is set to the DuckTails theme song. It reminds me of Saturday Disney and being young, it gives me energy to start the day and it makes me wake with a smile. For those of you that think a song may be too much too early in the morning, try selecting something peaceful (but still enough to wake you) to get you out of bed each morning.

Wake up healthy
When you feel good, you’ll look good. Wake up and stretch, drink a glass of water, have a bowl of fruit and/or high-fibre cereal for breakfast and try to schedule some time for a brisk walk to get the heart rate up. Getting into the routine of slowing down your morning, properly brushing your teeth and taking time for yourself is a great way to start the day!

Dress to impress
It’s important to dress for success whether you have a long day of work stretching ahead of you or not.  Did you know that a careerbuilder.com survey found that 41% of employers are more likely to promote people that dress better? It will also help you be more productive and people will be more receptive to you.

Genuinely smile
Smiling is universally recognised as an expression of happiness among all cultures: if you smile, other people will generally smile with you. Some studies support this, even suggesting that it is contagious. For example a study conducted in Sweden showed that people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.

Perceive everything in a positive way
Make the decision to take everything in a positive way – remember, you are only living today for one day only. If someone is trying to be negative and force you down, the trick is to try to find the lesson in what they are saying or doing. Learning from them will benefit you as you keep your head up and continue striving to be the best you can be.

Be kind
Be kind to everyone you encounter. According to psychologist Og Mandino (1923-1996), “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again”. It doesn’t cost anything to be nice to someone, it’s easy to do, and it makes you feel good! So smile, start a conversation and remember to mind your manners. The Stanford Research Institute says that the money you make in any endeavour is determined by 12.5% knowledge and 87.5% ability to deal with people.

Give away positive energy
According to the law of attraction, the more positive energy you give, the more you will receive. Give compliments, let people know you’re thinking of them, buy people gifts, and always mind your manners. The easiest way to give and receive positive energy is to always have good intentions.

Have a positive attitude
Maintain an attitude of gratitude and you will attract all good things. Being thankful for even the small things will enhance awareness of your surroundings and it’s this level of mindfulness that will assist you in appreciating each day. You have 25,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day, changing most of them to be positive will be a challenge but it’s certainly possible!

Challenge yourself
Be open to learning something new. Accept a spontaneous opportunity. Do something you’re scared of (within reason!). Challenge yourself to achieve your full potential. By challenging yourself you will grow, gain awareness, skills and knowledge, achieve more, possibly advance in your career, become a better friend or partner, and gain new experiences.

Chat to loved ones
Schedule some time towards the end of each day to chat to your loved ones. Call your family for a general catch up or call your best friend. It’s a great way to vent, relax, unwind, and wrap up a busy day in the office!

Exercise
Have an exercise routine in the afternoon that you look forward to after work, it will help you to refresh – and it’s great for your health! Studies have shown that just 20 minutes of exercise three times a week will increase your happiness by 10 to 20 percent after six months.

Look after yourself
Aside from the usual hygiene care (showering and brushing your teeth), try to do something nice for yourself each day. This could be grooming: getting a haircut, painting your nails or it could be something leisurely: planning a party, having a bath, reading the newspaper or a book, going shopping or to the beach, writing a letter, painting a picture, going star-gazing, listening to music etc.

Live for the moment
Time is something you can never get back. Avoid wasting it! While we can live to an endless to-do list it’s equally important to have time to think and meditate. Put your phone down and give your time fully when you’re socialising – it will allow you to fully enjoy the moment. Switching off and being completely present enables you to slow down a fast-paced life to fully enjoy yourself.

Respect your biorhythms
To help ensure tomorrow is just as good as today, make sure you get a good night’s sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep may mean investing in earplugs to ensure your room is silent, a new pillow for comfort, or an eye mask to ensure no light will disturb you. If you find yourself awake at night, figure out what is worrying you and how you can overcome it.

Being happy with what you have (or how to change it!)

Happiness is self-contentedness. Aristotle

Being happy with what you have is the fastest way to be truly happy every day. Unfortunately, you may have experienced losing something or someone that was making you happy, simply by taking it for granted. Many people don’t learn from this mistake – mostly because they don’t know how and they’re not open to changing their ways.

In 1965 at President Johnson’s second inauguration, Rabbi Hyman Schachtel said: “Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.” Appreciating what you have makes us happy because it gives us the opportunity to step back from the detail and have a look at the overall picture. Honestly appreciating the people in your life and making time to show them your gratitude (by spending time with them or doing small things for them, even just letting them know) will make you a happier person because it gives you presence and helps you to honour your life as it is. Being thankful for these small but significant blessings is a choice, and a simple positive decision can open you to positive feedback.

In fact, research has shown that gratitude enhances your quality of life. A studied by two psychologists (Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis) showed that daily gratitude resulted in higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. It also showed less cases of depression and stress, the subjects were more likely to help others, appreciated regular exercise and made greater progress towards achieving goals.

How to appreciate what you have
There is no specific method in learning to appreciate what you have – but there are some exercises you can do to start practising.
1. A gratitude journal. Write down three to ten things you appreciate each day before bed
2. A gratitude letter. Write a letter to someone who has exerted a positive influence in your life but who you haven’t had a chance to properly thank
3. A 21-day challenge. Avoid complaining, criticising or gossiping for 21 days. Experts suggest wearing a coloured wristband throughout your time to keep you constantly aware of the challenge
4. A gratitude charm bracelet. Make and wear a symbol of your gratitude every day to remind you to appreciate the things that you DO have in life
5. Enjoy the moment. The ability to appreciate what’s in front of you has nothing to do with what you actually have. It’s more about how you measure the good things in your life at any given time
6. See every day as an opportunity. Set attainable goals and look at each day as an opportunity to improve on yesterday, rather than focusing on imperfections. By focusing on improvements, you’ll naturally move toward your larger dreams and will respect the way you’re doing things
7. Take action. If something is negative, be positive. If something isn’t right, change it so it is. Be the change you seek and set an example for those around you
8. Be responsible. Be who you want to be and act accordingly. If you don’t like something about yourself, have the courage to start looking at what it is and changing it
9. Want the things you already have. Be mindful of the achievements (and even material possessions) you have obtained in life and use them to your full advantage. Make a list of your achievements and accomplishments. Take time to reflect on how far you have come to appreciate where you are now
10. Understand what makes you happy. Learn to appreciate your individuality – no one is perfect, but you can be the perfect form of yourself
11. Meditate each day on the things that make you happy. Really take the time to focus on these positive things and give thanks
12. Treat yourself regularly. You can only appreciate the people and things around you when you appreciate yourself. Remember to reward yourself (a positive action) when you reach gratitude goals
13. Be grateful for your health. Ensure you maintain peak condition by eating the right foods and participating in regular exercise.
14. Practise seeing what you have. Avoid waiting until you lose something to appreciate it! Start a list of the things you’re grateful for – it may include: family, friends, lovers, health, your environment, your senses, electricity, music, recycling, air conditioning, your happiness etc
15. Volunteer for the less fortunate. Spending time working with the homeless, sick or another disadvantaged group is a great way to put the things you do have into perspective
16. Make a scrapbook of the good things in your life. This will be a visual reminder with pictures or symbolic representations of the things you’re most grateful for
17. Watch a powerful movie such as “The Pursuit of Happyness” or “Pay it Forward” to motivate you to continue taking steps to show your appreciation of life.

Appreciating people in our life
Unfortunately, it’s often people we lose more than material things when we’re taking something for granted. And it isn’t until they’re gone that we realise our behaviour. How can you avoid this?
1. Remember the reasons that person is close to you. What qualities attracted you to them in the first place? How often do you appreciate these qualities? Remember why they’re a part of your life
2. Tell the people in your life you love them and why you think they’re special. Verbalising you’re positive feelings will reinforce them in your heart
3. Recognise the person’s current expressions of the same qualities that attracted you in the beginning. Living in the moment helps us to really see how valuable others are to us
4. Take time to respond when someone you care about is doing something that you appreciate. Send a clear message of appreciation – a smile, a comment, a helping hand, a gift, positive feedback… it can be anything
5. Spend time each day appreciating these special people in your life and listing the reasons why. This will affect your attitude towards the special people in your life – making it positive!

How to change things when you don’t appreciate them
Having the courage to change things when you’re not happy with them can take a lot of courage. Sometimes we are too comfortable with things to change them, sometimes we have good excuses for why we should stick with the way things are (often holding onto hot coals for far too long), and sometimes it’s just laziness.
1. Figure out what you need to change and be clear with yourself why it needs to change
2. Set yourself a goal to break the habit or change the situation – including a deadline
3. Make the change happen. Reward yourself when you complete the change and build a new, positive habit (or situation) in its place.