Q&A Detox Tuesday
My partner and I are in the process of breaking up. Even though I know he’s not the one for me (I think I always knew that), I have never felt so sad in my entire life. It’s not that we’ve been together very long either. We don’t have kids and we’re not married – but I still can’t let go! When I’m finally ready to let go, he’ll do something that changes the way I feel, or if he breaks away, then I’m the one that will do anything to keep us together. At first I convinced myself that this was because we have this “special bond” – but it’s not! I’m ashamed to admit it but I think one of my biggest issues is dealing with the silence once he goes. The thing is he calls me at least 20 times a day – just to check in. When we first met, I wasn’t working and he would call about five times a day – which I found annoying, distracting and overbearing. Months down the track he now calls up to 20 times a day, just checking and I’ve adjusted. To be honest, I can’t go a day without it. I know this isn’t normal and I know other men won’t do this for me which is another reason I don’t want to let him go.
Thank you for contacting me for advice.
You are not alone in trying to overcome this terrifying feeling of abandonment that appears when a serious relationship is breaking up. It is scary when we know our routine won’t be the same because the person we love is breaking away from us. This is also a very important thing to accept: in breaking up with a partner, things are going to change … that’s a good thing!
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