Q&A Detox Tuesday (Relationship Free)

girl-looking-over-cliffDear Sarah,

Please help. I recently met this guy on an internet dating site – and when we were just talking I didn’t think much of him but I started to like him very quickly after we met.

The other night I went to his place for a movie night with my girlfriend, while he went out. He came home early and met her. I was aware that they are both really alike and they both have a lot in common, but they hit it off a little too well. At first I thought maybe I should step back and just be happy for them, try to be selfless … but I really wanted to be in this relationship.

I felt as though they were almost flirting in front of me – then he would be one place and she would call and she was in the same place, or he’d talk about his dreams for the future, and hers were the same. It was really weird! Then they became friends on Facebook and now (after going through all her pictures), he’s talking about having a threesome… it’s really out of control – and far against what I’m looking for in a relationship but I want to give it a chance this time!

I’m so tired of being with the wrong person and having bad break ups – I just want this to be different. How can I make it so that meeting never happened?

Dianna, USA





Hi Dianna,

Happy New Year and thank you for contacting me. I’m sorry to hear your experience, but it’s probably the perfect time of year to detox. First, I want to thank you for volunteering to by my first Q&A Detox Tuesday client. For those reading this, Q&A Detox Tuesday is where clients are invited to write in with a short question and I will answer it for you.

Unfortunately, Dianna, it’s not uncommon for men (and even some women) to have sexual fantasies involving more than one partner – and that can be particularly painful when it’s against your values. On top of that, you mentioned that you really like this man, which makes it even more painful for you to stand back and see him considering other women, particularly this early on in the relationship where you’re trying to build trust. Your feelings of concern and distress are perfectly valid for what you are experiencing.



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