Letting go – the easy way
How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar. Trina Paulus
Look around you. Right now. What do you have in your life that’s important to you?
Now imagine that gone. Completely.
Generally even the thought of losing whatever it is makes us feel sad, overwhelmed or possibly even angry.
`While going throughout the journey in life, you’ll eventually come across a point where you need to let go. It may be letting go of a person in your life, it may be letting go of negative thoughts and feelings, it may be letting go of material things. Letting go is the steepest learning curve in attachment. This week Happiness Weekly looks at how you can let go the easy way!
Part of letting go is acceptance – acceptance that it is gone, acceptance of your feelings and acceptance of the feelings other people have around you about whatever is gone. For example let’s say we lose someone close to us through a relationship break up or death – there’s not a lot we can do about it, it is what it is – but we will have feelings about it and the people around us will have feelings about it. If we can accept what has happened quickly, then what other people think will bounce off us rather than consume us.
I’ve been talking about this a lot lately because it’s true – a lot of the time we look for external validation – but why? We live our lives! Stuff what other people think: What do you think? How do you feel? That’s what matters. Check in with your self and make your internal or self-validation a priority in your life.
Be conscious of attachment
If you know you are attached to something (dependent children are different) – let’s say we’re talking about a house, a spouse, a sports car or a romantic partner, start distancing yourself emotionally from whatever it is you are attached to. Practise thinking about letting go of it in the most positive way you can. This is key in recovering quickly if you are to lose it. Even if you just practise it as a passing thought rather than doing a deep meditation over it – if you are to lose it, your mind is prepared and your subconscious will return you with “Oh yeah, you prepared for this – remember when you were thinking this would happen and this is what you thought…” Don’t panic, it’s not the Law of Attraction, it’s preparing for what may eventually happen.
Challenge your limiting beliefs
If you were to lose whatever it is you’re attached to, what would it stop you from doing? What is it about that thing that you are so afraid of losing it? How does this thing make you a better person now than what you could be without it? If you lost whatever it is you’re attached to, what would it stop you from being? You’ll find when you start challenging your limiting beliefs about the thing you’re attached to, that you’re able to create distance from it. In fact, you may even discover the thing you’re attached to is holding you back.
Believe in yourself
When you believe in yourself, you know exactly what to do. The only way you can believe in yourself is to know who you are. Spend some time on your own exercising your self trust, self acceptance and self love, and learning about yourself and the things you love. Once you know all these things, you’ll be able to believe in yourself, your confidence will grow and you will be ready to face whatever challenge comes your way.
Break it down
Take it one day at a time, one step at a time, one moment at a time. You don’t need to let go all at once. But if you use each day to detach piece by piece, you’ll feel stronger because every time we let go of something, we give more energy and power to ourselves. If you are strong enough to let it all go at once, then more power to you – letting go quickly enables you to start your healing journey faster whereas letting go gradually can sometimes just prolong the pain.
Let it go
If it comes time that you need to put this into practise: give yourself permission to let it go. Consider other positive stories where people have been in your exact situation (or something very similar) and as a result, have gone on to achieve much bigger and better things. Focus on what you do have, not what you don’t have. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do. Read positive affirmations and encourage yourself to let the situation strengthen you. Allow it to make you better not bitter. And remember: When you’re going through hell, just keep going – keep going and going until you’re so far removed from that hell that before you know it, you’re floating with angels again. Remember: nothing can hurt us forever.
Finally, if you really want a lesson in letting go, try packing your entire life in a small suitcase and moving overseas to a completely different country … indefinitely. What’s stopping you? Remove the blocks and excuses – and go for it – it will be one of the most empowering things you ever do.
Tags: abusive relationship, accept, accept it has gone, accept other people’s feelings, accept your feelings, acceptance, accepting, accomplish, accomplishment, achieve, achieve bigger and better things, achievement, affirmations, allowing, angry, attracting love, awareness, be conscious of attachment, belief, beliefs, believe in yourself, better, better not bitter, break it down, butterfly, challenge, challenge your limiting beliefs, challenge yourself, challenges, change, changes, changing, charity, confidence, consciousness, courage, creativity, decision, decision making, decisions, definition of success, development, distance yourself emotionally, domestic abuse, dream life, emotion, emotional, emotional abuse, emotions, encourage yourself, endorphin, endorphins, energy, enhance, enlightenment, excuse, excuses, exercise, express, expression, faith, family, feelings are a decision, forgiving yourself, friend, friends, give up being a caterpillar, give yourself permission to let it go, goal, goals, going through hell, going through hell – keep going, gracious, grateful, gratitude, grow, growing, happier, happiest, happiness, happiness is a choice, happiness weekly, happy, healing, healing from narcissistic abuse, healing journey, healthy living, hints, hobby, hormone, hormones, how do you feel, how does one become a butterfly, how to, imagine it gone, improve your life, improvement, improvements, inspirational, inspire, inspired, inspiring, keep going, learn, learn about yourself, learning, leaving your dream, let go, let go of a person, let go of material things, let go of negative feelings, let go of negative thoughts, let go of negativity, let it go, let the situation strengthen you, let things go, Letting go, letting something go, letting things go, living consciously, living the dream, look around, love, lover, lovers, mindset, motivate, motivated, motivating, motivation, motivational, move overseas, my narcissistic partner, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic abuse syndrome, narcissistic partner, narcissistic supply, no contact, NPD, one day at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time, opportunities, opportunity, overcoming fear, overwhelmed, passion, passionate, pathological liar, peace, perception, personal development, personal growth, positive, positive change, positive stories, positive thinking, positivity, power, practise letting it go in the most positive way, prepare yourself, read positive affirmations, relationships, releasing the past, responsibility, responsible, SAD, Sarah, Sarah Webb, self acceptance, self development, self empowerment, self love, self-esteem, self-satisfaction, self-talk, self-trust, self-validate, self-validation, situation, steepest learning curve in attachment, stress, success, surviving narcissistic abuse, Sydney, Sydney Australia, tactics, take responsibility, thankful, the easy way to let go, thinking, tips, tricks, Trina Paulus, use each day to detach, value, values, verbal abuse, want to fly, Webb, weekly, what are you afraid of losing, what do you think, what is important to you, what would it stop you from doing, you know what to do, your narcissistic partner