10 simple ways to make people feel good about themselves
Give a man to fish and you will feed him for one day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. Chinese proverb
The trick to making people feel good about themselves is to understand what people do to you to make you feel good about yourself and the mimic it for your friends. This week Happiness Weekly looks at ten simple ways you can make people feel good about themselves to encourage them to want to hang around you.
1. Ask them to teach you something
Whenever someone says I’m great at something or they really like something that I do and then asks if I will teach them, it not only makes me feel good about myself but it also makes me want to show them how to do it the same way I know how.
2. Go to them for advice
Many of my friends come to me for advice, particularly relationship advice and that makes me feel great. Realising your friends strengths is a very good quality. Take time to see what your friends strengths are and if you see you’re weak in that area, approach them for advice and ask them to assist in strengthening you to become a better person or better at whatever their skill is.
3. Give them a genuine compliment
It’s easy to tell people they look beautiful, and then move on. But it takes time, thought and consideration to give someone a genuine compliment. When someone tells me I have done something well and then gives me a reason, or I look great in what I’m wearing because of whatever reason, it feels a lot more genuine than “You look great!” and therefore makes me feel good.
4. Help people where you can
This is the reverse of the second suggestion – approaching someone for advice. When you see your friends struggling in an area that you are strong, offer them help. Be careful not to come across as conceited or condescending. Let them know that they are on the right path but if they just did this, that and the other it would be perfected. Be very conscious to make your suggestions come across as friendly tips rather than knit-picking pointers.
5. Touch the person
I have a girlfriend who whenever she walks into work in the mornings, she touches me gently on the shoulder when she says good morning. This may sound a little strange, but it always makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and appreciated. Just a gentle touch can really help you connect with someone and make them feel great about themselves.
6. Use the person’s name as you’re leaving
Don’t over use someone’s name as it can come across as aggressive, but if you have met someone for the first time and you’re interested in building a relationship with them – it’s nice to say goodbye or have a great day directly to the person. Using their name as you are leaving will not only help you remember who the person is but will also make them feel as though you’re approachable in the future. If you’re really comfortable with the person, you could even give them a friendly nickname – for example, one of my colleagues was great at his job so I called him “The King” … it wasn’t long before he called me “The Queen”, and of course the rest is history!
7. Listen to the person attentively
If you use active listening when someone is giving you instructions is shows your respect for the person and your diligence in attempting to get the task right. You can also show you’re really listening to someone by following up with them about something they have said (try to remember their spouses name or their interests), or even buy them a small gift that was raised in conversation – this also shows you understand and care about what has been said.
8. Smile at people
This may seem really easy but you would be surprised how many people just don’t smile anymore! A frown won’t get you many friends. You catch a lot more bees with honey! So there’s more to being a sweet, good person that people want to be around – you also have to display it on your exterior. A simple smile makes everyone feel more at ease.
9. Encourage people where ever you can
Whether you like the person or not, encourage them in their pursuits and help them to achieve their goals where you can. Encouraging others not only makes the encouraged person feel good about themselves, but it also shows to other people around you that you are supportive and you care.
10. Show genuine interest
Ask about something that is important to the person you wish to build a relationship with. Comment on a previous discussion you may have had with the person. Volunteer to help if you see they need some assistance in getting a job done. All these simple things make the person feel more valued and appreciated as they see you care for the small details.