How to know who your real friends are
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success. Doug Larson
Knowing who your real friends are can be a serious challenge! Sometimes people appear in our lives only when they need something – they seem so nice though. Fleeting friends like these can make it hard for us – are they a real friend or not? Don’t wait until the going gets rough to find out! This week Happiness Weekly identifies some simple ways that you can decipher who is a real friend and who isn’t.
Listen to what they say
– A true friend will be supportive through the bad times and the good. They won’t be jealous of your successes, they’ll be happy with you.
– A true friend will make you feel needed, confident and happy when you’re around them. They are kind when you need it and offer constant encouragement in all areas of your life.
– A true friend is your cheerleader. They will compliment you and stand by you to cheer you on through all life’s ups and downs. They will always want the best for you.
Note: If they put you down or make you feel miserable or worthless, they’re not a true friend.
Watch how they treat you
– A true friend will listen to you. They will have time for you, and if they don’t, they will make time for you.
– A true friend will let you share your thoughts and offer you feedback. They will actively participate in the conversation and care about the outcome afterwards, generally following up to see how you got on.
– A true friend will react to the things you tell them with genuine care and compassion. They will remember important details you tell them.
– A true friend will actively participate in the conversation. It won’t be one or other doing all the talking or listening. A friendship is best shared in all aspects.
– A true friend will treat you as you treat them. Both people will put the same amount of effort into the friendship and make time to catch up and act with integrity.
– A true friend will keep their promises to you. They will turn up. They are always reliable and available when you need them.
– A true friend won’t have any ulterior motivations for the friendship. They will want to be around you because they value you as a person, not because they want to be popular, they’re bored or it’s convenient to them.
Note: If the person shares their problems and then appears bored or distracted when you share yours, they’re not a true friend.
Share advice and opinions
– A true friend will come to you for advice or your opinion. They will make you feel like an expert where they are weak. They will make you feel good about yourself!
– A true friend will accept your thoughts and feelings about things without knowing the full story, and love you anyway. You should feel comfortable speaking openly to them.
– A true friend will be able to predict your moods and know what you’re thinking and feeling.
– A true friend will be open to hearing feedback and criticism when you disappointed in their behaviour. You should feel free to communicate openly when things are good and when they’re not.
Note: There’s always room for improvement and no friendship is perfect. If your friend makes you feel you can’t approach when you’re upset about something, they’re not a real friend.
Know the difference between chat and gossip
– A true friend won’t be after gossip but genuine conversation and they will never ever gossip about you behind your back.
– A true friend will keep a confidence when you confide in them no matter what consequences arise for them. They will always have your best interests at heart.
Note: If your friend regularly gossips about their other friends, it’s probable they will gossip about you too.
Is it easy to catch up?
– A true friend never needs to check a diary for a catch up, they will either have time or make time for you.
– A true friend will always follow through with scheduling time to catch up and will call regularly just for a chat to catch up on general life.
– A true friend will enjoy your company and look forward to catching up with you. They will try to include you in their life as much as possible.
Note: If your friend is too busy for you but has time for others, or if they’re always too busy to spend time with you, they are not a true friend.
Simple signs your friendship is real
– You face problems together and are there for each other
-You share what you can because you truly care about each other
– You make time for each other
– You offer each other advice and a listening ear
– You forgive quickly
– You protect each other
– You give each other freedom
– You communicate effectively with each other
– You accept each other as you are
– You are genuine towards each other
– You compromise with each other
– You support each other’s growth changes
– You’re there for each other for every challenge as a support, believing in each other
– You want the best for each other
– You have realistic expectations of each other
– You demonstrate your respect for each other in small ways on a regular basis
– You keep promises to each other
– You’re honest with each other all the time (no secrets) and have a solid trusting relationship
– You stick together through thick and thin!
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