How to win trust back
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. George MacDonald
It’s possible – Bill Clinton did it! Earning trust back and getting your life on track doesn’t need to mean the end – unless you continue lying. If it’s true that Lance Armstrong lied in his interview (OMG! Who lies to Oprah?!), then there’s no doubt that he will have a lot of trouble earning trust and respect again. The problem when people keep lying is that people stop believing and when someone stops believing then it’s over. This week, Happiness Weekly looks at how you can win back trust:
STOP LYING! – It’s essential that you come clean to whoever you need to, without causing any further pain, damage or anxiety where possible. Honesty is the best policy.
TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH – Tell the person you have hurt or disappointed exactly what you did and try not to leave anything out or avoid any further lying. Don’t make excuses or place blame.
APOLOGISE – Acknowledge what you have done and take full responsibility for your actions. Apologise. Prepare to take on the consequences whatever they may be.
ACCEPT – Take full responsibility for your actions. Accept that people may not forgive you straight away for your actions, be patient. They may not forgive you at all, accept that as soon as you can.
BE PERSISTENT – If you are sure you want to get your relationships back on track after you have hurt people with lies and deception, prepare for the rejections and be persistent. Spend your time demonstrating how you have changed for the better and prove that it won’t happen again.
BE PATIENT – Don’t force people to forgive you or try putting ideas into their heads about why they should forgive you. Be patient – if you’re pushy you will push them away.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES – Get set to change your behaviour to ensure you don’t repeat your mistakes. Take steps in a positive direction that will earn people’s trust back.
FORGIVE YOURSELF – If you keep going over it and you’re down on yourself, you’ll only highlight what you did wrong. Try to forgive yourself as quickly as possible.
TRUST – Trust the person you’re asking for forgiveness. Allow them to be guarded with you going forward. It will take time for their wounds to fully heal.
When was the last time you hurt someone with a lie? What was it about? Did you ask for forgiveness? If so, what happened?
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