How to feel emotionally secure
Insecurity is an ugly thing. It makes you hate people that you don’t even know. Unknown
Feeling secure with your job, your body, your decisions, your relationships – it can seem like something hard to come by – but it is certainly worth working on.
Feeling “safe” can be generated from opposing dynamics which create conflict – which means just because you feel secure in one aspect of your life at the moment, doesn’t mean you will feel that way all the time. The problem with this uncertainty is that people try to change things so they are secure again and do feel safe, and this can often look as though you don’t know what you want – and ultimately get confusing for you and the people around you. To avoid this, we need to make ourselves aware of the conflict before it erupts.
How can you help your partner to feel more secure?
– Be emotionally available, honest, trustworthy and authentic. Act with integrity
– Spend time doing things as simple as cooking and cleaning the house together, because it sends a message that you are committed to being with her and the relationship is going somewhere
– Avoid being distant emotionally or physically, because it will invite feelings of loneliness, isolation and put the fear of a break up in your partner.
What you can do as a partnership to encourage feelings of security?
– Give up limiting fear-based beliefs. If we are to find true happiness in a relationship, it requires dissolving the beliefs and assumptions that create painful fears and controlling behaviours
– Figure out what makes you and your partner feel safe and secure, and go out of your way to ensure both of you have that as often as possible.
What YOU can do to feel more secure!
– Dress nicely. When you look good, you feel good
– Take care of your hygiene. A trip to the beautician may even help to make you feel better
– Sit up straight. People with slumped shoulder and lethargic movements display a lack of self-confidence
– Exercise regularly – I will improve your physical appearance and helps you spend time constructively. Power walk, people with confidence walk faster
– Volunteer – concentrate on the contribution you can make to the rest of the world
– Compliment others and break the cycle of negativity
– Make yourself win: let go of the past, ignore hurtful negativity and make yourself happy
– Create daily affirmations. Make a list of things you like about yourself
– Start with small steps to gain confidence in your decision making ability
– Be yourself. Stop trying to please others and think before you sacrifice your own needs
– Avoid negative people
– Face your fears and learn from your failures
– Reward yourself when you succeed with your goals
– Practice letting go
– Concentrate on what’s right with the relationship and build on that
– Learn how to realistically view your relationship
– Find assurance within yourself. No one else can make you happy.
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