Are you making yourself unhappy?
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. Norman Vincent Peale
The suffocating feeling of stress that can linger for days – whether in your job or your personal life – may actually be a decision that you have made, rather than external influences making you miserable. It may be time to look at the rules you have set yourself and see that you are not trying to exceed your own high expectations.
Happiness is a choice, just as unhappiness is a choice. It’s up to each individual to make sure their actions and thought patterns are in line with the things that make them happy. But the question is: how can you achieve this?
The trick is to set your internal rules so that it is easy to feel happy and very difficult to feel miserable. This technique will keep you centred as a person – all you need to do is set aside an hour of your time and do these three easy steps to make it happen.
Being as honest as you can, answer the following questions and write it down:
What has to happen for me to be happy?
What has to happen for me to be unhappy?
These questions can be made specific, if you wish to focus on a part of your life that doesn’t seem to be going well, simply be adding “at home” or “at work” on the end.
These are your rules.
Now you know your rules: examine them. Have you made it easier to be happy or miserable?
Now create a new set of rules that would make it easy for you to be happy and difficult to be miserable. For example “I enjoy going to work each day and seeing the people I work with”, “It upsets me a natural disaster threatens my home” etc. As you can see, the new rules don’t have to be particularly realistic – the key is to write rules that would make you happier if you really believed them.
Now you have your new rules, type them up and print them out to put them where you can see them. Try to memorise them. Having your rules visible while you’re doing other things will re-program your mind to believe the new rules. It’s that simple.
Remember, when you’re happy – everyone else around you will be happy – and your popularity with rise. No one wants to be miserable, but happiness is something that needs to be worked at. This is such a simple task – why not start today?